The Captains' Problems
by KeepSmilingItMakesPeopleWonder
Summary: Ever wondered what's wrong with the captains of the Gotei 13? Well here's an answer. A bit cracky but hey, so are the captains. Please read and review!


**Author's Note: Ok this is just a stupid list that my brother and I made up for all the Bleach Captains' problems (come on you all know they have some) It gave me a laugh (even though some might say it's a bit angsty) at the time so I thought I'de post it up and see what you guys think. This is past the Soul Society arc but I put in the traitor captains to make it more interesting.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters, if I did it would be FRICKIN AWESOME!!! But I don't so....*sigh***

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Captain General Yamamoto: The guy is a hypocrite afraid of change. Seriously he was ready to kill his two favourite students without even listening to them! They didn't even want to fight him! He acts like he's fair but turns around and doesn't listen! Finally, what is with those muscles, he has to take steroids!

Captain Soi Fon:She has abandonment issues, not that I'm surprised. Her whole life was training, and when she finally found someone she could be herself around, that person left. No wonder she's angsty all the time. (Thank you very much Yoruichi.)

Former Captain Ichimaru: Feels the need to wear that stupid creepy grin all the time and gave up his captaincy for hollows and broke the heart of the one person who made him a worthwhile person. Well that sure was a smart move.

Captain Unohana: She is on of the few captain's who seem all right. Besides from the fact she has to see the good in everybody. So we know that a lot of people really need to convince her there is something REALLY wrong with the eleventh division.

Former Captain Aizen: Turns out the nicest captain was an evil manic, go figure. Though I suppose if I had to wear glasses like that I would turn evil too.

Captain Byakuya: The guy has one major stick up his glutious maximus. He needs to relax. He also needs to realise that keeping a promise to your dead wife to protect her SISTER takes priority over a promise to his dead parents to follow the law. (Who wouldn't realise that?) He needs to know that dissing Ichigo is not cool, he did way more for Rukia then him. Also he needs to realise that he will never, never win against Yachiru so he really should stop trying.

Captain Komamaru: The guy seems sane enough, besides from the fact of is confidence issues. The guy's a captain no one is going to tease him because he's a giant talking dog. Heck they would probably be more respectful, if at least from nothing but fear!

Captain Kyoraku:He's is one of the few good captains in Bleach, but he seems to value his sake more then his life. He should also get over himself and tell his lieutenant how he REALLY feels. (It's going to happen, the only variable is when.)

Former Captain Tosen: All I'm saying about this guy is his 'path of justice' thing is REALLY twisted! It also translates into; you-don't-believe-what-I-believe-so-you're-wrong-and-there-for-must-die.

Captain Hitsugaya:He has a serve case of the Napoleon complex and his tempers as short as his height and hates being called or having anything to do with being called a kid, which of course just makes him cuter! Even through these things he seems to be one of the few sane captains there, so my congratulation.

Captain Zaraki:This captain doesn't make any sense, on one hand he's a complete maniac only interested in fighting and on the other he has a little pink haired girl on his shoulder who is continually pointing him in the wrong direction because her sense of direction is as bad as his! Go figure...

Captain Kurosuchi: There is nothing funny or witty I can say about him. He is a sadistic maniac who tortures his own lieutenant. All I wonder is how in the world he became captain?!

Captain Ukitake:He is a very nice man who unfortunately has a terminal illness. The only wierd thing about him is his strange habit of shoving candy to a certain little captain who hates the stuff. cough Hitsugaya cough.

There you have it all the captains and their.....problems........and even though it scary to think their pretty much running Soul Society, it hasn't burnt down yet so we'll keep our hopes up! ^^

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**Alright hope you guys liked it, my brother takes a share of the credit, and yes we have a veerrryy long walk to school ^^ Now you've read it please take the time to review constructive criticism welcome but please no flames, so hit that green button and knock yourself out! (Not literally of course, that might be a problem....)**


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